I chose the 3 night four day Carnival Cruise out of Sydney because it was my first cruise and I wasn't convinced I was a 'cruising' kind of person. I was right. I'm not. At least I'm not a Carnival Cruise kind of person.

The embarkation was horrific. Loaded like cattle, they crammed us all into the buffet area because their determination to get in and get out as fast as possible means they get you on board before your rooms are ready. EVERYONE - and I mean every 2,124 passengers - are crammed into the buffet area waiting for their rooms to become available. There's not enough seats and tables. People are pushing and shoving. It was horrendous. That was bad enough but then we had to do the muster. Unlike other cruise lines that 'muster' in lounges in a calm and serene fashion, Carnival herded us onto decks. They forced us to stand in 34 degree heat, shoulder to shoulder FOR AGES until blasting a horn and letting us free. More shuffling in long queues as again we depart our muster locations like herded cattle. Still the rooms aren't available. The lifts aren't available either because of the baggage being brought on board so it's all stairs (with a torn meniscus so that just added salt to the wound).

I'll summarise the rest because the first day was by far the worst but not the only disappointment. The spa massage was a constant up-sell. Even mid-massage so not exactly relaxing. The chat app (which isn't free) wouldn't work properly and we had to queue (again) to get help from guest services. I say help but "it's probably just your phone" wasn't that helpful. The son never managed to get his phone connected but I still paid the $9 - YES NINE - to NOT be able to chat with him while on board. Read more