My partner persuaded me to split up our holiday to Florida, a 5 night cruise followed by 10 nights in Orlando. No sooner were we onboard in Miami than the bar staff were trying to get us to buy beer. Now this is a little after 10am! We booked a cabin with balcony on the port side and aside from the great views from the cabin I was disappointed from the get go. The bathroom was understandably small however the shower was pretty shabby looking with cracked tiles and even a few tiles missing from the wall of the shower. Everyone likes a nice warm shower right? So did I, unfortunately actually getting warm water to flow from the shower was hit and miss. I generally woke fairly early in the morning, around half 6-7. Not because I wanted to but because the people in the cabin beside ours woke at that time and the cabin walls do not keep out any sound at all. Oops I digress...hot water..at around half 7 I would venture into the bathroom and on only one occasion could the water be described as warm, the rest of the time it was cold. However my partner who would shower at around 8am told me she had no problem getting hot water! Even if I could lie on for a bit in bed the ships pa system would have fixed that. Every morning the "cruise director" (I think his name was Marcello) would come on and talk, seemingly forever, about the beautiful carnival victory and the beautiful destinations we would see. Guy, i'm already on the ship, I already paid so you don't have to "sell" me a cruise i'm already on. The first two days were at sea and the first stop was Grand Turk. Grand Turk was ok but there wasn't a lot to do apart from wander aimlessly around the ship terminal while people try and flog you duty free. My partner and I took a tour from a local guide and aside from a charming light house and a small army of donkeys there is nothing on the island worth seeing!

The next stop was half moon cay which the "cruise director" talked about incessantly over the pa. And what a let down. Carnival seemingly either own or lease the island from the Bahamas. The facilities consist of a few bars, a few stalls selling trinkets and a beach. In the beach area there is NO shade! NONE! I spent most of my time on the island in a bar shaped like a pirate ship...which was actually quite nice. There was also a free buffet BBQ lunch. Now this is totally my fault, I should have realised that the combination of fat Americans and free food would add up to! So I casually turned up at the free BBQ to find it mobbed. Massive queue, people jumping in and out to grab another burger or hotdog and by the time I worked up to the head of the queue they had run out of cooked food and were rushing to put more on.

The final stop was Nassau which was pretty good, plenty to see and do. Read more